((((((((((faith))))))))))
Try not to awfulize. Most of the time when I do that, I've wasted my day on thinking about all the "what ifs". That's the craziness of our disease. Nine times out of 10 the "what if" never happens.
Do whatever it takes to get the focus off of him and on to you. Call a friend. Go somewhere. Move a muscle, change a mood. Sitting, worrying about what COULD happen will only make you more crazy.
Hang in there, honey. And do you go to meetings? If so, find one. If not, find one anyway and start attending. There is great support from face to face Anon friends during times like these.
Hugs,
Hangin' In