Wheretobegin,
Hugs to you, I know how hard it is to le go and hand it all over to God.
I have 2 addict sons, and believe me when I say, I have been where you are now.
It was affecting my head, my heart, and I was on the verge of literally going crazy. First off, I found Sober Recovery, 2nd, I visited my doctor and got a prescription for the BAB BAD nights, and 3rd, I started going to as many meetings as I possibly could, and I started praying for my sons H.P. to lead them in the direction he had planned for them.
The bottom line is hopefully he will get picked up and go to jail. Heaven knows it seems to have helped both of my sons. AND when they are using, when they're in jail, I can finally get some rest! Jail is a good thing.
I'm happy to say after dealing with both of their addictions for 16 years, both are sober for today.
Hugs to you,