Originally Posted by
HKAngel24 
Thank you to everyone for all of the incredibly inspirational posts I have received. I feel so much less alone.
I think he is dragging me under with all of his deception and lies. He is making me feel like the lunatic and day by day my self-esteem and self-worth takes more of a beating.
At this point- he is not even trying to lie to me. Just basically playing games with my mind and heart. Claiming that he is clean and I am merely "giving him a hard time" and saying I TREAT HIM like crap. Absolute craziness. He has my mind so messed up that I am beginning to believe that he truly is right- that I'M the nutty one and HE is fact is trying to get clean and I am merely blocking his recovery. He keeps saying that he's going through alot of crap right now and he doesn't need me coming down hard on him.
I am AFRAID to break up with him. He is treating me like a jerk- fully and completely disrespecting me, taking me for granted and being downright nasty yet I AM SCARED to breakup with HIM??? I feel like I am degrading myself by putting up with this behavior but I question whether or not I have the strength to fully walk away.
Hi Angel24~
He probably is dragging you down, so don't let him...
<<<He is making me feel like the lunatic and day by day my self-esteem and self-worth takes more of a beating.>>>
No one can "make you feel" anything. You chose your own thoughts and how you are going to feel. So if you are feeling like a lunatic that's because you are choosing too. Take your power back and turn your thoughts around.
YOU are not a lunatic, as soon as you start thinking that, stop and tell yourself you are not. YOU are in control of your thoughts. He is not.
When we blame others then we're giving up our power to change.
Ask yourself, What will you accept in your life and what will you not.
Make it a rule. If we are constantly being mistreated, then we are cooperating with the treatment..
It doesn't matter if he's quacking or if he's perfect, the only one you
can be in charge of is you. Once you realize you have given your
power away to an addict or anyone else in your life, THEN you can begin
to take it back. When you have your own power, nothing anyone says will make you think your a lunatic...
Make your own laws, if you don't someone will make them for you.
I forgot where I read that, but I try and follow that one to a T.
Because people will cross your boundaries and make rules for you
in an instant if you let them....
Take your life back girl, Your worth it....
(((Angel)))