I am praying that today is better for you. My 20 yr old daughter is the addict in my life and it was sooooooo hard to finally give her to God. As others before me said, I had to hit "my bottom" before I could release her to Him. This was really hard to do as I wanted to have some control over her. Funny, when I finally turned her over to Him, I was at peace. The way I did it was vision her wrapped up in her favorite blanket, all nice and warm and I handed her over to God. He took her from me, after I finally let go of the corner of the blanket, and I knew she was in better hands. Trust your HP. He couldn't totally work on my daughter until I let go of her. I know that He will work on you son also. What we need to do is focus on ourselves and get beter. I pray that today is a better day for you.
Post and let us know how you are. We care and many of us have been exactly where you are today.
I know that this breaks your heart; my daughter has broken mine many times.
BIG HUGS to you!
Terri