i am in the same place.
hello,
i had a thread asking how to handle the sadness....i read these posts here every day....i dont know how you stop hurting for the lost one...i have had 3 days of pain with my son... (who is also 34) he is drinking 1 to 2 bottles of vodka a day, verbal abuse to his girlfriend, and i think lost his job....i could go on and on with details about these last 3 days and the last 20 years....i have felt exactly the same as you...tonight he said that he was giving up, ready to get help...i heard this for the last two days but tonight seems different...i can only hope the universe will send its love and help to him...we will see what happens tomorrow...i guess hope is what i live in.....thinking of you very much