Please Help
As I sit here my heart is breaking and the tears are flowing, I don't know where to turn, here is the only place I know SOMEONE will understand.
My AS is in a very very dark place. He moved to Tulsa with me back before Christmas, to those of you who know my story, he was trying to get his life together and for a few months I thought the Gods were smiling on us. Not so, he decided to go back to where his trouble began and this is the next chapter.
I just received a call from my daughter, who informed me that he has been in a drug and alcohol state for the last week. He is already facing a trial for Domestic Battery next month.
I am so scared, where is this path going to take him this time. It is almost like he is TRYING to destroy himself. I do not know what to do, my strenth is gone, the mother in me is screaming for some relief, for an end. My greatest fear is all the drugs he is doing are going to end in prison or a grave (he gets very angry and wants to destroy things around him and people). There is no strength in me, I AM TIRED OF THE FIGHT. I know it is a horrible thing to say about your own child, but this roller coster has taken its toll.
I don't see an end and it is tearing me apart, I can not make this child see what he is doing to himself and he is my baby. I feel caught up in some f@&king nightmare that I can't wake from. I would give anything, my life, if it meant he would find solace.
What do I do? What would you do? How do you let go? How do you keep from going crazy? How do you stop the torment that never goes away?
Where do I begin...I love this boy...
A very sad mom...