Tiff,
I have done a lot of research in the past 3 weeks since my CH relapsed and one of the things that caught my eye was about being an enabler. In a few articles, etc. they said that we are enabling them if we keep it a secret. If WE came up with excuses for them it becomes our problem and not theirs. After my bf's relapse I personally told all of my friends and close family, etc. and we were only in a 3 month relationship. Of course, I got a lot of flack and advice, etc. and they have all told me to watch out, but I refuse to make up excuses for him. Also, in my "research" I have found out that SOMETIMES its the ones that don't your A has a problem and they "feed" it. I kinda figure, the more who know, the more who will not enable.
Best of Luck to You!!