Faith--- I've not read the other posts.
I figured out finally that it didn't matter if he "loved" me or not. His actions didn't show me that he loved me, and that was all I ultimately needed to know.
If you really want love... you need to feel it and to have the other person in the relationship show it. If they don't... it's not love to you, whether they profess it or not.
That's what it came down to for me.