Welcome to SR. Yes, this is a toughie. My daughter started out on weed, booze and pills. Then to cocaine and of course when the money got scarce, crack and who know's what else.
She is NOT the same person I knew. The drugs have changed her but then, she has never been clean for long or worked a recovery program. She has her feet firmly planted in that "denial" cement!
The thing is with addicts is that they are wonderful people when not using. They mean what they say and they say what they mean but doing and saying are two entirely different things. And when the drug use makes then mean and nasty, that is the stage when most cannot deal with it.
I'm not saying that your addict will do that but when they start using, it's difficult to know if they are telling you the truth because they don't seem to be able to recognize the difference. The "need" for the drug seems to overtake everything. You need to be aware of that! We, who have never had that experience, do not realize how strong a motivator it is. It has nothing to do with YOU; but it has EVERYTHING to do with the need and control of the drug.
Decide what it is that YOU want out of life; and what you feel you deserve; and what boundaries you are not willing to have someone cross. It's hard but unless YOU take a good look at what YOU want, you will always be second-guessing everything. If he cannot be to you what you need him to be, then you have to make a decision.
Just don't stay with him because of HIM or leave him because of HIM, do either because of YOU! You are the only one who can decide what it is you want and what you can and cannot tolerate. But you cannot FIX or help him if he does not want to fix or help himself. And his actions will speak volumes over his words!
Sorry you are dealing with this but you are not alone.
