i too have kept the secret. like moose i thought it probably reflected on my parenting skills. you know, small town, respected family. blah, blah,blah. now when someone ask about my as i tell the truth. he has many issues to work through. it may keep some of our friends from enabling him, or being manipulated by him, whic in turn actually helps him even though he dosent think so. could be the same in your case, or it could not. either way i think honesty is best.