Calabash -
It sounds like you have learned a lot through this experience. It's an interesting point that BigSis made about did you call your sponsor. I not only belong on this side of the street but am also in AA. My default switch needs to be "call my sponsor". I realize that I am pretty good at recognizing other people's behaviors but my own need outside opinions. My justification system will always try and first see everything my way. Addiction is an extremely selfish disease - we are self centered and self seeking.
I am really really glad that you have posted all of this. At heart, I believe that we all belong in the anon programs. If you have a relationship with a sponsor in NA or AA that immediately qualifies you for an anon program. I think that it's important for all of us to see and be reminded that even when people obtain sobriety the addiction is still alive and well. It is a daily program of reprieve. It only works if you work it. It's crazy how insidious this disease is. Take care - DOnna
PS There is a book "Craving Ecstacy" that is excellent and easy to read about how drugs affect the brain. You might be interested in it.