Calabash...
Did you ask your sponsor about this? What was his response?
This really seems to be an issue that another addict WOULD understand, probably better than we codies. So I have to wonder if you came in here looking for the best words to get your wife to "understand".
I hear a lot of "minimizing" of what you did 'just peeking', showing embarrassment for getting caught '(blushing now)'... when the actuality is that you had full information about this being a deal breaker for your wife.
Yet you sat right down for "just a peek". If you lose your wife over this, I would not be surprised.
So what is the next right thing to do? I don't know, but I bet your sponsor could give you some tips.
As harsh as these words are... I do wish you the best.