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Old 03-27-2007, 05:23 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
First, congratulations on your recovery actions and for making an effort to heal old wounds and rebuild this relationship. That alone, would bring hope to most of us on this side of the fence, who also have our own wounds to heal and our own recovery to work on.

I have heard the porn issue debated before, with some validity on both sides. My thoughts are that anyone working on rebuilding a relationship would give serious thought as to why porn is even an issue...if it is harmful to a relationship and the relationship is important and in the process of rebuilding, then I cannot imagine why you put any importance on the "need" to view it. Would you feel undisturbed if your wife was secretly looking at naked men on a regular basis...especially if this had been a red flag for trouble in the past?

Recovery on both sides requires new, healthy behaviour and a real effort to communicate honestly, openly and willingly with each other. The relationship will either become stronger because of this or fail because the old wounds just cannot be repaired. It's up to you which way you want to see it go and how willing you are to make it work.

I wish only the best for you and your wife, regardless of how your relationship works out.

Hugs
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