Hi Calabash! I am sorry you are having a difficult time right now. My thought is this: Your wife caught you checking out porn, and since you used to use porn a lot when you were using coke, she automatically connected the two. She probably thought you were coked up, or were getting ready to use again. If porn is a "trigger" for you, I would say it is best to stay away from it for now. I have read from others here that there is a connection between coke & porn, so you probably need to be careful. If you had never had an addiction problem with the porn intertwined, maybe your wife wouldn't be quite so upset. I don't know what's going on in her mind though; some women really object to porn, some don't. If you can't talk to her, maybe write her a letter.
I sincerely hope that you can work it out, I can tell you've relaly been workign on your sobriety.
Sandy
PS We have a good friend here who is from S. Africa!! And this is a fairly small E. Texas town....go figure?!