I tried to relate to my ex's family, and got nowhere. The odd thing, to me, is that he (my ex) never had a nice word to say about his family, he laid the blame on them and all they did was try and rescue him.
Don't know what's what now as I am out of the loop, and ex is in prison.
I wish I had some helpful input, but I am just as confused as you are.
Others will be here, they may have the answer.