Nicole....I'm sorry I didn't catch your thread sooner. Lately, my time in SR has been so sporatic.
I want to let you know that you are so very strong and your recovery is much to be admired. I agree with the steps you have taken. I know how difficult it is but it is worth it in the end.
I also said I love you so much that is why I'm saying NO NO NO NO NO. I will not help you kill yourself and I love myself too much to allow your addiction to continue to hurt me.
This is so true for so many people when they have finally reached that point of "the pain of staying with the addict has become more than the pain of leaving the addict"
I hope that there will be a day that he understands why I'm doing this.
I believe that some do and some don't want to understand. My exah has admitted to me that he understood and realizes how hard it must have been on me to file for a divorce from someone I love and knows that I did it out of love but it doesn't mean that he has to like it. But this doesn't stop him from trying to manipulate. And although he abstained for the past couple of months he is back to using. As they say...abstaining is not recovery. Losing me was obviously not his bottom.
You just keep on your recovery road and even though all may not be fine with him atleast things will be fine with you. Many hugs to you!