In spite of the chaos, you sound very balanced and happy. And good for you and your sons for getting out to a movie and just having some fun.
Your boys are at an age where they understand what is happening and hopefully can talk it out with you, but the thought crossed my mind that they may benefit from an ACOA meeting or six, to be able to share with others who have been there, about their personal struggles with this. Just a thought, but maybe suggest that they try it out and see if it helps.
My prayers go out for you and your boys, that the road ahead gets brighter every day.
Hugs