Originally Posted by
atalose 
My first thoughts are, you should be more concerned with your “red flags” of codieness then his at this point. I am glad to see you are working on your “re-wiring” and I’m sure it feels good to feel ready to move on and get involved again. .
you are very right...and I am very concerned about my own codie red flags...i truely DON'T feel ready to get involved again. I wish I could stop the thoughts about him that keep popping up in my head! I just want to continue focusing on my life....it's a lot safer and less stressful. My last relationship cost me so much and I'm scared to death of getting myself into anything even a 10th of what that ended up being.
Originally Posted by
atalose It seems you are having some obsessive thinking about him and when we obsessive about someone it brings about allot of questions which we codies want answered right away. We tend to push or force the other persons hand long before they are even ready to play cards. We want to make sure we are not going to get hurt at all costs so before we put our feet in the water we need reassurance that the other person is either already in the water or will be right next to us. We usually push for something, questions, motives etc. etc. and they are not even thinking about that yet. Your already having doubts and questions about his flirting with you and looking for it to be different then how he flirts with the others. My main concern here for you is that you work with him, it’s a high risk getting involved with someone you work with because what if it doesn’t work out? Are you strong enough to continue to work with him if you try a romantic relationship and it doesn’t work out? .
Again, these words are right on the money. I'm extremely concerned about us working in the same company...and i do see my crazy push to pin down some answers...when all he is doing is flirting!
Originally Posted by
atalose Is it possible to have lunches with him? Is it possible to find time at work to talk with him and get to know him? If you keep things casual and light while you are getting to know each other, there’s no big let down if either of you discover you wouldn’t want to pursue taking it beyond a co-worker type friendship..
I could ask him to lunch...but i don't want to do that. I could try to take a lunch where I actually eat in the breakroom (instead of my desk...as i've never taken a break in the breakroom), but i don't know if he even eats lunch in there either. And then, since i've never done that before...i'm sure it would seem obvious.
Over the last month we've talked at work quite a bit, but never more than a few minutes at a time...and always just joking around. Keeping things casual and light while getting to know each other....well, i know that's how it's suppose to be...it's just already gone beyond that for me and my stupid emotions. So at this point, I'll likely just avoid him from now on....as you are right...expectations can be deadly...and i've already got to many going thru my codie brain!