Pam. I'm so sorry...I'm glad you called so you at least didn't have to go through that in person again. I find this incomprehensible...I have no words.
I have an older brother who chose to "disown" the family for reasons I never understood. He never came to funerals for my mom, brother, daughter, etc. and never responded when i have tried to reach out. I know I can do no more and it feels like I lost another sibling.
Knowing how difficult just that is and how it can hurt, I can't imagine your pain. I'm glad you have family here to come to. I'm still praying for you and your mom and for your children too. Big hugs