I agree I never understood my ex - abf. He claimed after breaking up with me that he had been unhappy for a long long time and from what I gather (yet I'm not totally sure on this) wanted to end his relationship with me back then too. However, all the times he had the chance to end it with me he never did? He would threaten breaking up with me any time I started to not tolerate his behavior and any time I would start asking questions (I started asking questions when I started to feel like he was messing around behind my back which sure enough he was). He knew that this would get me to close my mouth. Anyway, he sang a different tune though the time I brought up to him that I wasn't sure that our relationship was working and that maybe we were not really right for eachother. He had is out then why didn't he take it? Heck he had five months where he was still dating me and had a brand new girlfriend (neither of us new about eachother)...In the end he dumped me the day I came to his apt and caught him drinking again...and continued things with her....when she and I learned that he had essentially cheated on both of us, he told her that he wished he had not been such a coward and had told me long long ago that he was unhappy...I just dont get it....He was able to threaten it all those times and certainly had no problem ending it the day I caught him drinking again. I mean it makes no sense b/c our relationship had been long distance, up until the last five months of it, living in seperate states and for a time countries. I dunno but I would think if he really had wanted out that badly he could have just said I'm done and cut off contact with me. Even after he dumped me he kept his relationship with the other woman a secret from everyone.... Why hide it after breaking up with me? My head hurts from the craziness.