I know that you must be reeling right now. Sometimes all the things that happen with addiction hit you dead on between the eyes. I know how I felt when I learned that I was being cheated on and it was awful.
One thing that I do know - the truth will set you free. Take some time to heal and do what you need to do for yourself. In time, you will be grateful that you were able to find this unwelcomed information. Once you have the truth and all of the realties then you will have all the information that you need to make the right decisions for you and your children.
There is a lot to grieve when you discover that the relationship that you thought that you had is not the one that you had. Don't let his behaviors tell you anything about you. This is a defect in him NOT YOU. Always remember that - you did not do anything at all to deserve this and it is not about you. It's something wrong in him.
Lots of love - thinking about you and sending you prayers. Donna