i'm sorry, i forgot to say to you nicole, what i would do to talk myself out of worring about him not coming home was, first i'd except the fact that he was using, i'd know by a certain time that he was not coming so i decided, no need to call or look for him cause, if he don't want to be found, then he won't be.i'd reason with myself. "ok, by now he's got so many dollars and he's not coming until its all gone, and he has his wallet, in it is his licenses, so if he's dead, the coroner of hospital will call, if he's in trouble or hurt somewhere, the hospital, or somebody will call me and if he's in jail, he'll call. i literally when through this in my own head. after a day or two, i'd figure that the money was almost gone, and so i'd give him another day before i start looking for him to show up. i decided that there was no sense in worring the first day or 2, cause he had money and he was still out getting high. i learned to at least rest while i thought he still had money and nobody had call to tell me he was dead, in the hospital or in jail, until i got that kind of call, i knew that he was ok. like they say, try to do something to keep your mind occupied. if you haven't heard from him, he's probably ok.