I am sorry your going through this. Sounds like she is nice then starts to panic and acts out in anger she wants u to pay for the pain she feels. Maybe she is mad cause she realizes that your strong enough now to cut all ties with her and she is going to make u pay. I am sorry for that what some people do when angry is beyond me. Messing with your job and such should be a boundry that should never be crossed. I wish I had some magic words but I think what your doing is best b4 she destroys everything that u have worked for. Your job should know she is just a vengful ex! I'd be Doneforsure too.