i'm sorry too, pam
i'm saying a special prayer for you, your mom and the rest of your family.
we love you dearly, and you will never be alone again, we are here for you. i pray that your mom gets better soon. i'm guessing that she may not even know that you were there and was not allowed to see her. she knows you love and i'm praying that when she get better that you'll then be able to tell her. i'm so sorry.