It so hurts and it is so necessary. The process helps to being closure, maybe that's the wrong word. Maybe the word is clarity. It brings clarity. In the light of day it feels differently. I think you actualy leave court feeling lighter. It's nice to have a decree that says you aren't associated with any more os that "stuff".
You know how they say, "if I had only known then what I know now". Well, you lived through a tremendous growth experience and came out wiser.