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Old 03-19-2007, 10:00 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
BigSis
On a tear
 
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
I haven't heard from her. What to do when I do???
Why not wait and see what the situation is? Perhaps the next time you see her, it will be obvious what to do.

I think you did learn an important lesson, though... don't "front" money to an addict... not for anything, unless you truly give it as a gift with no expectations.

I paid for rehabs for my kids, and my daughter came close to getting kicked out of one, got kicked out of another and got asked to leave both a recovery house and an Oxford house. The first rehab was covered by insurance, as was the recovery house... but the others cost me some money.

But what I had learned from others, was that the money *I* paid was for ME... for MY peace of mind. It was a gift - freely given. I had high hopes for a good outcome, but did not really have any expectations about THAT money (other money for other reasons, I did).

Today's expectations are tomorrow's resentments.

This struck a note with me. If I have strong ideas about OUTCOMES, I often end up disappointed and with some big resentments toward the addict. But if I go into a deal with an open mind about outcomes... leaving it up to a Higher Power, or the Universe or whatever... then, no matter what happens, I feel ok generally.

I hope this helps.
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