i am so sorry that you are having to make this call, i can't tell you what to do,but i will say that you are right to be concerned about how this to effect your children, you and then your recovering husband. i know that its hard for you right now, but i think that its time for you to ask yourself a few questions and think long and hard about your answers.
if it wasn't for the threats, then i think maybe it would be a little easier for me to make somekind of suggestion, i'll have to pass on this one and pray a special prayer for you and your family.