I am so glad to hear that we are not alone. I too felt and still feel those things even though I have not seen my bf or spoken to him in 3 weeks. I too experienced my bf going through mood swings..he was simply not the person I knew for 6 years. It is frustrating as hell to keep going through the same arguments and fights not to mention exhausting.
In my case, I look back and know that after the first time I saw the drugs in my parents house, things had changed for us. I could not believe what he was doing. Then came the accusations and making me feel guilty and crazy for not believing the man I loved. Now I think, how could I believe he could use the coke occasionally? How is that possible? My friends keep telling me to not beat myself up.
After having read these few posts it has made me think, the disease, the addiction is making the people we love respond to us and treat us in the exact same horrible way. I know for myself, it will be a long process to learn to have more respect for myself, and I am on my way by not chasing after him.