I may be a "newbie," but I agree that your reaching out for support is such a good and healthy thing, as is turning to your HP in constant prayer.
Do you have the ability to connect via a meeting on a daily basis? I don't know the ins and outs of your situation, so forgive me if that info has already been shared. Anyhow, it seems like "face time" (especially if you may not have access to this site for a while) would be so helpful as you move through this phase (and that IS what it IS) in your journey.
Gwen, I know your HP his his arms wrapped around you and that - through faith in Him - you will make it. So many of us have you in our prayers. He saw you to and from court safely, afterall! Let's do be thankful for that.
And, while I certainly get where your husband is coming from, neither he nor I are in a position to judge...I'm working on that so I can avoid episodes like what you experienced.
Your babies were not hurt. You chose to go out on faith and meet a legal obligation and that's it - your business, right? If the kids were involved, I might take another stance, but they weren't. Any consequences would've affected YOU, primarily - right?
Me? I would consider putting on some spiritual garmets - those of tender mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience and forgiveness and discard those of fear, stress and anxiety. Does that make sense? Better said that done, I know, but it may be a start in terms of taking care of YOU. I have to make a conscious effort to "change my clothes," and sometimes a couple of times a day even on a "good" day.
Just a thought...blessings to you, Gwen. This, too, shall pass.