Alot of us A's are double winners...codies too. Even with the knowledge of my own disease, I can still go totally off my nut about my exAbf's behaviour etc...that's when my ego is holding court. I know better...but it still hurts. I can still give in to my inner petulant child wanting what I want right now. When it gets right down to it...my relationship with my ex became simply a battle of "wills". It took 3000 miles between us for me to surrender to "goodbye".