Godhelpme

I took a big step today toward leaving my AH by making an offer on a house. Before I did anything official, I spoke to him this afternoon about it while I could catch him in a sober moment.

I suppose I really wanted to give him one more "last chance" to say he'd try to sober up, but instead he simply said "I can't be accountable for making any promises". And with that, I knew my decision had been made.

So, I made the offer on the house tonight -- if I get it or if I don't, it's Gods' will. Either way, I'll continue doing what I know I need to do, moving forward and putting an end to the craziness.

I'm having a bit of a flash back to when I moved out the first time 2 years ago this month. I didn't really want to go, but believed I was taking the action necessary to send a strong message to him, and to free myself in the process. I wasn't entirely happy when I left previously....thought he'd come after me with promises and proof of sobriety. It didn't happen, ever.

My fear is I'll take this big financial step, placing myself in a scary uncomfortable position - knowing there's no turning back, and find once more that I'm not happy. Maybe this time it'll be different since I know what to expect from my AH....?

Regardless, it makes me very sad to know it's come to this and that time is upon me. Damn alcohol!!!!!!!!

~Godhelpme