thanks everybody,
the prayers can't hurt - i'll take all i can get - i don't think that i'm an angel - i think i'm just doing the right thing - i can't imagine letting those kids go into foster care -neither can my husband - my brother called last nite to tell me about the police finding the stuff at sybaris - he said that he talked to his wife about taking the kids (he is the godparent of the 4 yr old - he and his wife have no kids) but he decided he didn't want to change his lifestyle - ok - i can understand taht but when i said "well i would hope that someone would do the same for me if something happened to p and i, that someone would take our kids" - he said of course he would do that - p & i aren't crackheads - when i told him that this wasn't the kids fault he just sort of said - yeah but it's a different situation - i don't agree - i just didn't want to argue anymore...
teke i appreciate your honesty - i wanted to post on the substance abuse forum now that i'm a little less angry but i don't think that's a good thing - i don't think i'm in a place to even try to understand how drugs take prescedence over kids - there's a website crack reality - reading those messages scares the crap out of me - i'm so glad that you are doing so well and that you made the right choice - i just don't think i would want to find out why people made the other choice...
i've been through an intensive outpatient program with my 17 year old (court ordered for a dui) - works with the steps and has been incredibly helpful - i'm grateful for what i've learned - but i just don't *get it* - addiction i mean - i know i can't make anyone do anything - that i have no control over anyone i can only control my reaction to them - i get the steps - i just don't get what makes an addicts brain different than mine - they just don't understand consequences of their actions? i would love to smoke a little weed once in a while - take the edge off - i have 4 kids at home - well 6 now - i wouldn't do that because i could get in trouble - i would still like to though because it's pleasurable - and i know i'm not talking about 200 worth of crack a day for three weeks that makes my body depend on it - but even an addict has to figure out that detoxing your body is going to feel like crap and then you have to try and not use the drug that got you into this mess in the first place - it's ultimately willpower - right?...
i'm looking forward to the show on addiction on hbo - i think it starts tuesday and i'm grateful for all of you here on sr - it has been incredible to me, the support of others all working on their own stuff - but taking the time to help me with mine - i love support groups
and you all...
sincerely...
s