the descent into hell...
it has now been three weeks since i've had my sisters lil guys - aged 2 & 4 - lil guys dad called (ranted) 4 days after their descent into hell - and then called the tuesday after that - 9 days after my mom came by the house, saw the chaos, and brought lil guys to my house (a state away in IN) - he wanted to talk to the lil guys so i told him that was ok but if he raised his voice i would hang up - he was on the phone for about 1 1/2 minutes when dylan (the 2 yr old) gave me the phone - i tried to call back to talk about some kind of important stuff (custody, rehab, etc.) but he never answered - that was about 2 weeks ago - since then nothing - i have heard absolutely nothing from sister (ever) or their dad - my brother (who is in IL) did see their dad (a week ago thurs. - it is now sunday nite) - he was messed up bringing out the garbage (funny how crackheads worry about the iimportant stuff, huh?) - my brother asked where sister was - jeff told him she was at a friends - when brother went there she wasn't there - jeff said she was at therapy - ok? - brother asked where she really was - jeff said he wasn't sure but she wasn't ready to talk to anyone in the family - hmmmmm....
my ex brother in law (who now has permanent custody of the 11 and 8 year old) decided he wanted to go to the house and see if he could get some of the older boys clothes and xmas presents - no one was home - sheriff's dept was never able to serve papers on sister - he looked in the mailbox and could see about a weeks worth of mail - lots of stuff from dcfs - no one else has seen or heard from either of them for more than a week - ex bil and brother filed a missing person report - i've left a few messages - as have most other people in my family, and no one called back - they have not talked to their children since this started (except for the 45 second phone call that one tues)...
i called a number my mom had for a neighbor of theirs which was an emergency number for when they had no phone - apparently the husband has a moving co. and jeff has worked for him in the past - i had an interesting conversation - app. sister and bf are certifiable crack heads - whenever they have money the make up house in the basement - the lil guys apparently don't keep the house clean enough so they had no choice but to move to the basement - and they took the food with them! - sister and bf thought that since the kdis were so f'ing lazy they didn't deserve food - since no one helped sister with the laundry they decided to keep it in the garage - what a concept huh!? - they had padlocks inside the doors and outside the doors - so that'w why my mom's key wouldn't work - there was no water so that's why lil 2 yr old nephew was scared to death of the tub for three days - he didn't konw what to expect - i'm numb... these people, no not people , scumbags, are apparently now staying at a sybaris hotel and enjoying the high life- well they were - the police found her and dad's drivers license copies (which the sybaris makes copies of in case of drowning or something)? so apparently they are high class crack heads - oh my god...
i vascilate between wishing she were dead and sheer pity for the two of them - i really don't know what to think and am numb - god i feel sorry for the kids - they ask about them less frequently and with the gorgeous weather of the las t couple of days have been having a great time outside - wearing themselves out - literally - pass out when their heads hit the pillow - they are doing so well - how do parents do thsi to their kids? - how do drugs become more important than their kids? - how????...
i know this is probably really long but i've been away from this for a couple of days and just needed to vent - i really feel like i will never understand this and now i have to go to court in IL and file for custody - dcfs is doing something finally, but only after i contacted a child advocacy center in springfield IL - boy that made things happen - but dcfs will go to court on our behalf which will make things easier - apparently crack heads get thier attention...
you know i've had something floating around in my head for a couple of days now - maybe you can help me with this - if addiction is a disease that affects the brain chemistry than why does a person have to reach their bottom to stop? - i mean if life is sh*& and 6 months later it's really sh*& and you decide to stop because you can't take it anymore what changed your brain? - nothing right - your will to change was just stronger than your want to use - right? another post perhaps - goodnite everyone - and thanks for allowing the space for venting...
love,
s