Message to lost
Lost I know exactly what your going through and how you feel. That's what sucks about loving someone. In the end they have the ability to make you feel every emotion possible and not have a clue how to deal with them. I think that the memories of the good times you shared with that person makes it even harder because you know that you are capable of sharing those feelings together. They do turn into a diffrent person when they are using and most of the time its not a very nice person either. Then when they do get sober they have a real hard time finding their selves again. I think that you should talk to her if you haven't already (tried several times to reply back to you but this stupid thing wouldn't let me sorry). Atleast then you well have the peace of knowing that you let her know how you feel and what your thinking. It may not do a damn bit of good but you can say YOU tried. Dealing with an addict is not an easy thing to do. It's almost like they aren't human. Like they are from some far off place in another galaxy or something. It's just crazy. I do know that if your not careful that all of this will make you crazy also. Everything your going through hurts like hell and makes you mad as hell. The worse thing about it is that you feel like you've lost control of your life. I know that you've probably heard it a million times and are probably sick of hearing it but even if it doesn't seem like it it does get better. Even though with me anyway there are small seconds once in a blue moon even after this long that I still ask my self why and I feel that old anger. Those days are very few and there are many many more good days. I wish you luck and hope to hear from you soon. You'll be in my thoughts. Again sorry it took me so long to respond. Don't know what was going on with this thing.