I can't even imagine what you are feeling but I can tell you this...at some point our addicts need to know that simply saying they are sorry doesn't change anything and doesn't take away a situation or what transpired in that situation. Said simply...saying sorry is just not enough when it gets passed a certain point.
I am so sorry for your heartache right now but you did what was right for you. Continue to do what is right for you. Prayers to you and your family.