I am constantly thinking, wondering if I do this if thats right or if I do that if thats right... back and forth. It doesn't end at times. At this moment I do not know whats the right move to make. I mean I know I should do make him leave end the relatiosnhip, move on, take care of myself and eventaully down the line meet someone who makes me happy and so forth.
But even though I know those are the things that people think i should be doing I am just not there yet. Sometimes I am wondering to myself why do i want to wait till it gets bad, till he is angry asking for money, or stealing ( which he has never did to me) and so forth. I just don't know. There is still something inside of me that loves him, it's still burning... and I am not sure if I want the flame out... that is what gets me stuck here.
I wish I could reply to all of you but I get so emotional that it is overwhelming for me esspecially to do so at work. But know that each and evry reply here has warmed my heart and made it feel a little less heavy.
hugs,
Jewel