(((((live)))))
i just wanted you to know i know how you feel - my dad died of throat cancer a few years ago and it was about 1 year from the time he found out about it til the time he died - it sucked - but the last few days of his life we were in florida with him - he was getting ready to go to IL and die i guess - but we were making plans - not dwelling on his death - it helped to talk about the future - not the distant future but the *tomorrow lets go to the one part of the beach and play cards* - he died knowing he had plane reservations to see everyone he hadn't seen in a while - he didn't make it but he had plans...
i can't help with the cah (i'm assuming cocain addicted husband?) but i'm dealing with the crack addicted sister and her boyfriend - i have physical custody of her 2 and 4 year old - in almost 3 weeks she has never called - we jsut filed a missing person report and have since learned she and lil guys dad are holed up in a sybaris - hmmmm.... and to think i'm cleaning up puke filled down comforters and picking up feathers (3 kids with the flu!!!) - i just wish she were gone you know? - it sucks but it would be easier to explain to her kids she died than *mom and dad are in a hotel with their crack pipe - i'm sure they'll call - so i'm sorry you have to deal with the court crap - addicts suck like that don't they?...
i just want you to know that i hope tomorrow is easier - my mom called as i was putting more crap in the dryer and said *i wish you were closer i would come for an hour or so so you could get away* - i told her i didn't need to get away for an hour i just needed to tell someone that it really sucks and have that someone not freak out that i';m on the verge of a braekdown just really pissed off - so i'm pissed off right there with you...
and if you feel like going out with someone to relax or whatever - *to thine own self be true* - go for it - you deserve it - you really do...
love,
s