sorry that you are having so much to deal with right, now and i'm so so sorry to hear about your father. you sound so overwhelmed, maybe it would help if you could just step back and breathe for a minute, try to collect your thougts, make a list putting first thing first.
in my opinion, maybe its time to focus more on you and what you want your life to be like, while focusing on your time with your dad.
as far as court, try not to allow others opinion to control what you want. your family probably just want the best for you but only you know what is best for you. i do think that i would be honest at court, just tell what happened and let the chips fall where they may. i've had to do that many times, and it always worked out just the way it was suppose to. whatever happens, i pray that your ah learned a valuable lesson behind all of this.
i think that you did good by reporting the abuse. you have to decide for yourself on this one, in my opinion.
as for as the friend goes, i found it easier and less confusing for me to focus more on things that i like and want to do, rather than what anyone else think that i should do. you are right you are married, be true to yourself and keep your side of the street clean, to me, would be a better option.
while my rah was away, it gave me more freedom to deal with my own emotions, actions and reactions. i took the time to get to know what was making me tick. didn't need to add anything else for me to be confused about.
keeping you and your family in my prayer, a special prayer goes out for your dad.