Thanks ladies.
Just sucks, you know.... this guy isn't "mean" to me... or even "un-nice" to me... just has a horrible problem that he won't get help for and it threatens important things in my life... and I hate having to weigh a
person against anything... but basically that is what I did. Perhaps that is what I am feeling bad about... feeling as though I have relegated him to a spreadsheet where his name is on the "bad" side or somehow cancels out other things that it just isn't fair to me to lose... that's probably what it really comes down to...
We will all survive. I keep trying to remember that there is really no way around the pain... you've eventually got to go right through it to end up on the other side... I've been boxing with God on this one for far too long and am just a little tired, I guess.
I am, ultimately, the kind of person who could never have been 100% comfortable with this man based on the effort that he has put forth to try and make me feel secure... it's just not enough. That doesn't change the fact that, despite the fact that "I" made the decision, it still feels like someone slapped me across the face and it stings like a bit*#* right now.
