Wow when I read this post I was amazed! I am going through these same feelings myself so I have no advice. My twist is that I am married to cah and have a son. I have told him that he can not be part of my life until he has a year clean. On my way home from work, I thought ok, if he does and I mean IF he gets that accomplished, how will I ever trust him again. I was raised that a liar is as bad as a theif and boy has he lied to me a LOT!
I am interested to see how others respond but know that I understand exactly where you are coming from!!!