Thanks Meg...
(((((((4raidyance)))))))
As far as your original post, I think that I remember having feelings similar to you...I remember believing that if it was this hard to have an addicted fiancee, how do the mom's survive it at all?
It took a little while on this forum, and at face to face meetings before I realized that most everyone here realizes that addiction is addiction, and the pain of living with it is no harder for me or Jewelz than for Ann or Mooselips...that no matter what your relationship to your addict, it's a relationship with a person, and people simply are not interchangeable. I can't look at my ex-A and say "Oh, well, you turned out to be a crack-smoking, narcotic shooting lawbreaker, so I've decided that I'm going to give all the love I feel for you to someone else" - just as no mother here could say that to her son or daughter. And yes, my relationship did fail, but not because I stopped caring about him, or because he was replaceable. It ended because it couldn't go any further in the condition it was in.
As far as your relationship goes - only you can decide what is right for you, and only you know if you want to stay or leave. The best part of that is you don't have to know that today. You'll know when you need to.