I think that regardless of our relationship to the addict, we detach with love because the alternative is to hang on and go down with them.
I love my son, regardless of anything he has ever done. I learned a long time ago that I cannot live in his addiction and my recovery at the same time. I cannot save him, but unless I save myself there is a good chance that his addiction will kill me.
It's not pretty and it breaks our hearts, but the sad truth is that all the love in the world cannot save an active addict from himself. Only the addict can do that, when the pain of using becomes greater than the fear of stopping.
Hugs