Thread: my own insanity
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Old 03-06-2007, 03:25 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
newblue82
Let me grow up.
 
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Charles, LA
Posts: 201
I've never struck my exe but I've THOUGHT about it on several occasions. I think what stopped me from actually going through with it is the knowledge that it was MY CHOICE to stay. My AGF's behavior was the consequence of my choice and everything else painful and frustrating that occurred because of it. Under no circumstances would I have the right to turn things physical.

I wasn't in handcuffs or shackles. I can't completely blame her for the insanity. At any time I wanted to walk away I could have and eventually I DID! Yeah, it was hard, IS hard but ultimately I had to ask myself was it more painful to be with her or without her. Now I was guilty of just being nasty and ugly with her when she hadn't done anything at all. It's amazing how just the memories of crappy times can make those feelings of anger and pain so real all over again.

Even still, I had no right to be ugly to her verbally or otherwise. I strongly suggest that if it's come to you doing something so out of character as to shove him several times or hit him then it's time to leave! I'm afraid no one's responsible for your reaction except for you. I hope you can find some resolution to all this. Good luck!

Last edited by newblue82; 03-06-2007 at 03:39 PM. Reason: grammar
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