To each their own. My way of detachment doesn't have to be any body elses way of detachment. I know my side of the street is clean and that right now, for today, I am emotionally, financially, physically stable. I know what I can live with and what I can't. I know how much I can take and when I'll have to give up.
I know my way of detachment and my program works for me and that's all that matters.
For someone who has decided NOT to have thier life journey destroyed by another person, due to drugs, does not make them less loyal to thier A, just more loyal to themselves.
I do know my life hasn't been destroyed and that I am very loyal to myself. I know that that's what I've been working on in my recovery and have become more loyal to myself than ever. It doesn't mean that I am wrong to stay with my addict. It doesn't mean that we will all eventually leave our addicts in the dust and move on and meet someone else.
I don't think it has anything to do with age. I've dealt with more addiction in my life since I was young than a lot people ever have to deal with. My father is an alcoholic (sober for about 10 years now) I grew up with an alcoholic father in my life. My mother did choose to stay with him. They are happily married now for over 40 years. I agree with Jewelz...its hurts more with my AH than it did with my father.
I'm not suggesting that anyone stay in a marriage they don't want to be in but I know what's right for me. I know how much I can take and how much I'm willing to sacrifice......no one else but me knows that. I'm not suggesting that those who have left their marriages are wrong or should have "stuck it out", I just know that it wasn't right for me to leave.
I realize there is always the possibility of relapse and am willing to accept that, just as their is a possibility of someone who is not an addict/alcoholic to become one.