I can believe that too.
I think thats why its called a family disease. For me, its built up rage and talking about it more, writing and discussing my anger with AH helps, but more importantly taking care of me. For me its always worse if I havent slept well or ate well and I always forget that.
Talk to your therapist about it be honest she should help you work it out.
My AH and I have discovered we both have them biggest resentments towards ourselves whihc we project on to each other, recognizing that has helped too. For us, we have also realized he is as codependant with me as I am with him.