Those are very interesting concerns. Although "Detaching" is nothing like what you may think. I have "Detached" from my AH but that does not mean I kicked him to the curb and now I'm out finding another "replacement Dad" for my Son.
In this forum you will find alot of answers to your questions regarding the Addict in your life. You will also find many different people in many different situations. Many of the people are still struggling to fight this addiction with their loved ones. Many have been through sooo much pain, they had to decide to let their Addict, in there life, make the choices themselves.
You cannot make someone quit. No matter how much you love, yell, manipulate, cry or beg. What is unfortunate, is many of us spent years doing all of those and sacrificed our health, Mental well being, Safety, Love, Sanity, Self esteem, Trust, Emotions and our entire being .. to be hurt once again.
How long does one go on trying?
I pray for my AH, because I can no longer help him. It's the most I can do.