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Old 03-05-2007, 07:19 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
nevergivingup
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: on our next big adventure!
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I think the message that's sent is sent to both parents/siblings/etc. as the message to friends/spouses/etc. It's basically..... let go or be dragged. When an addict (or at least the addicts I know) is in active addiction, they have a tendency to suck the life out of everyone around them. Essentially, the message is..... the addict is going to continue on whatever path they choose regardless of what you want, but WE do not have to go down that path with them. My addict (one of them anyway) was my fiance and father of my son. Each day that I stayed throughout his addiction, he went deeper and deeper, and I went right along with him. Financially, I was ruined and at 27 years old, filed for bankruptcy. Emotionally I was absolutely distraught.... blaming myself for all that was happening. Thinking that I was the one that was bringing everything down. Physically...... I would just sit there...... sooo drained of energy! I think..... what we're all trying to say, is that it's not going to help the addict for you/us to go down with them. They're basically headed that way no matter what, and like them, we have the option to choose a better way of life.

That doesn't always mean leaving your addict. Some stay, and find ways to work through it. For me, the relationship had turned violent, against myself and my son, and the only real choice was to leave.

Hope that helps!
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