Well, before I relapsed and had a little bit of time behind me--I noticed that I wasn't constantly living in fear/worry/anxiety. I was learning how to trust others and to let my guard down--and actually allow others to love me. Now, I'm a little suspicious of people--even those who are in recovery. My mind is back at the beginning (once again)--but I know how to get back. I can't beat myself up with my past mistakes. I must press forward & move on.