Hi Mjs...
I do not believe there is only "one" way to get and stay sober. I've seen too much proof of other ways.
But 12-step DOES work for me, and I have a fondness for the program.
Something you first posted stands out to me,
I want to incorporate 12 step work into my recovery but when i went to meetings in the past I kept seeing the same people telling the same stories. Its like in the movie groundhog day...I skip a couple years and when I go to a meeting its like yesterday.No one ever moves on or improves.
What I have discovered, is that some meetings never get beyond the "war-story" stage. Drunkalogues and glorifying. Those meetings have a reason for being, but they are not the best part of 12-step that I have experienced.
I find much more insight from study meetings. Book study, step study, and most especially, tradition study meetings. I urge you to seek out study meetings, and specifically look for those that are working the program.
I find them far different and far more fulfilling than some of the meetings filled with court-ordered newcomers down at the Alano club.
Just a thought. (((hugs)))