I am the adult child of an adult child. My father was abused by his alcoholic mom. He tried to change, but didn't get any help. He continued alot of the abuse with me and my sisters, even though he didn't want to. He still can't talk about it. I am 40 y.o. I have been working on my own recovery. I know that I can protect myself now, but I still get nervous when I think of him.
I fit the characteristics like a glove.
Welcome to this place. I have found it to feel safe for me to talk about my issues here.
Good Luck in your journey.
Remeber you are not alone.